Apparently, this is now a monthly newsletter.

And wow, has a lot happened in the last month. Really humbling personal life stuff and really outrageous world stuff, seemingly every day. The personal is going to mostly stay that way; I will just say that some life- and perspective-shifting events came our way, things that were simultaneously so hard and also incredible learning opportunities. Laura and I learned how much bigger than us life is, how little we control, and what a deeply fragile experience it can be on the journey to finding resilience. We learned how loved we are and what it is to have a community; we learned how much more we have to learn. We affirmed humility, calm, grounding, and faith. And that was just September! Now it’s Fall, and it feels like we are watching the world FALL apart in real time (see what I did there, using mediocre humor to try and soften our descent into neofascist oligarchy…is it working?).

Of course it’s not working, because the systems that we all rely on - those who would do anything to uphold them, and those of us who rage against them - are crumbling. And, from my perspective, they need to. We are past the time of incremental change, of moving the needle slightly, of performative activism and lip service by the old guard of a fucked system that they claim to want to change but can’t really seem (aren’t really trying that hard) to let go of.

The thing is, our Capitalist & Imperialist system is working exactly as it was designed to; as long as there has been colonialism, as long as caste and status and money and race have conferred privilege to some while using others as rungs on the ladder, there have been people who learn to exploit the weaknesses in that system. Ours is a system that, in its intentional construction, evolution, loopholes and flaws, allows some people to carry out an exploitative, disgusting, cynical agenda; to gaslight us while they burn the world down for their own enrichment, in defiance of Nature and human decency. It also allows others - perhaps ideologically opposed but who benefit from the system just as much - to publicly issue “strongly-worded statements” while privately doing everything they can to uphold it - capitulation, censorship, unwavering support for genocide - and to cling to the privilege bestowed upon them by the system.

If this is really how it’s supposed to work, then it needs to implode so that something better - more equitable and balanced, fair and kind, more humanistic and aligned with the priorities of Nature - can be enacted in its place. That doesn’t mean we stop fighting. Rather, it means embodying all the things that the aforementioned powerful don’t, in the face of this rising tide of cynicism, cruelty, and darkness.

Seen one way, we’re deeply into the end of times; seen another, we’re being offered an opportunity. The world doesn’t need more war or violence or strongly-worded statements or “Us vs. Them.” It needs compassion, inclusion, truth, patience, courage, connection with Nature, seeking to understand, curiosity and humility and decency and love, rather than judgment and cynicism and fear and othering. Humanity and this planet need heart and Light. It’s up to each of us to live as anchors for both.

For other essays and links to podcasts and other media, to learn more about PLAYfree, and to get in touch with me, you can visit the website by clicking the button below.

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Thanks for joining in the conversation, and I hope you enjoy!

On Motivation, Part 1: The Problem With Winning | 10.8.25

The Problem With Winning

Why do we play sports?  Vince Lombardi said that “winning isn’t everything, it’s

the only thing.” That’s the easy answer, and a ready one given by athletes,

coaches, and fans. It is increasingly true the higher you go; as you climb

through the levels of sport, winning more and more often takes center stage.

It’s a motivator and a goal; it brings in fans and money and attention. It

produces and, through its absence, takes away jobs. Winning feels great;

winning big feels like nothing else in the world. It is also really hard, so when

we achieve it we often experience a release of emotion, some combination of

satisfaction, accomplishment, joy, unity, a sense of completion, validation, and

relief.

Winning is also sometimes called the “great equalizer,” but it’s more accurate

to call it the “great distractor.” Winning can obscure – or even justify, if you’re

a cynic or just obsessed – organizational dysfunction, poor relationships,

instability, abusive coaching, financial impropriety, and conflict between and

within athletes and/or coaches. If all that is present and a team or organization

still manages to win, the talent level has to be really remarkable – and

although it does happen, usually even then it’s not enough. Winning is hard;

winning a lot is RARE, and most people involved in sports lose a lot more

than they win. Still, championships are a powerful reward, and some people

say that “rings” are all that matters. After all, pain is temporary; glory is

forever.

In the interest of time, can we all agree that we like to win, and then move on?

You hear it said by athletes and coaches and the parents of kids who play

sports that winning is equal to happiness. This is an incomplete truth at best,

and a dangerous (occasionally catastrophic) precedent at worst; let me

explain…